


swear they smell the blood on me

by goodmourning



Category: Shatter Me Series - Tahereh Mafi
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, IM DEADASS I WILL NOT ABIDE YOUR BITCH CRYING IF YOU SAY I SPOILED YOU, IM WARNING; I GOT A BAT AND HOCKEY MASK IF YOU COME FOR ME, STOP READING IF YOU HAVENT READ IMAGINE ME, Shameless Smut, okay so obviously imagine me spoilers, someone said he's gonna fuck the memories back into her and i took it too far
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23478319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodmourning/pseuds/goodmourning
Summary: contains imagine me spoilers“You,” he whispers back to me. A hand runs down my neck, across my collarbone, at the side of my breast and down to my hip. His movements are not soft or exploring. He knows me. Each place he touches flares up.My voice is meek when I whisper: “Help me.”takes place during imagine me. slight canon divergence. (posted originally on tumblr @amandlas)
Relationships: Juliette Ferrars & Aaron Warner, Juliette Ferrars/Aaron Warner
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55





	swear they smell the blood on me

**Author's Note:**

> bro i ain't even dogging with you right now, if you haven't read imagine me and you read past this final warning you /will/ get spoiled for and i /will/ laugh at you

**He unbuttons my shirt, his deft hands moving quickly even as he kisses my neck, my cheeks, my mouth, my throat. I cry out when he moves, his kisses shifting down my body, searching, exploring. He pushes aside the two halves of my shirt, his mouth still hot against my skin, and then he closes the gap between us, pressing his bare chest to mine, and my heart explodes.**

**Something snaps inside of me.**

**Severs.**

**A sudden, fractured sob escapes my throat. Unbidden tears sting my eyes, startling me as they fall down my face. Unknown emotion soars through me, expanding my heart, confusing my head. He pulls me impossibly closer, our bodies soldered together. And then he presses his forehead to my collarbone, his body trembling with emotion when he says—**

**“Come back.”**

***

It is gone.

The blinking blue light is gone, rid of it, snatched out from my forearm like a parasite. Yet the blurriness remains.

_I am screaming to get out._

There is someone inside of me clawing at the edges, fighting for freedom.

_Who? Who?_

Who is he?

The boy kneels next to me. I am still bare on my front. He made sure of that, when he ripped my shirt open. When he pressed his naked heart to mine.

And I want it back.

Because that touch, that heat, it woke me up. Rippled my soul until whichever girl lives within my skin figured a way to reach out, to yell. I need it.

“Touch me again.”

Green eyes, emerald glitter, widen at me. He breathes hard, and the heat of his body might as well still be on me.

I don’t move from where I sit, petrified. Blood oozes down my arm but the cut heals quickly. I need him with a desperation I’m not sure I’ve known before. “When you touched me, I remembered something.” He tugged me out. He is the answer, the key to help me unlock the Juliette trapped inside. My eyes turn supplicant. “Please.”

_Please help me climb out._

His name, I search for his name when he smoothly crosses the few inches between us, grips my arms, pulls me to him, and kisses me again. One after the other, he kisses me like

like

the edge of the world

and I remember it. The tether. The line connecting us. _He is the only emotional through line in my life that ever made sense. He's the only constant._ I thought this once.

Him. His name.

I kiss him harder, whimpering against his lips, begging for myself to claw out. He hears me, pulling back to gasp and look into my eyes.

“You,” I say with tears. It is all I have, and he understands.

He nods. I notice his eyes are glassed over. With impressive strength, he swoops me into his arms and stands at the same time. My eyes fly open while he moves us back to the metal table, lays me on my back on it.

“You,” he whispers back to me. A hand runs down my neck, across my collarbone, at the side of my breast and down to my hip. His movements are not soft or exploring. He knows me. Each place he touches flares up.

My voice is meek when I whisper: “Help me.”

He presses down on me again, and a bird with golden feathers flies through my mind. Both his hands go to mine, putting them over his thundering heart. “Home,” he says, and he’s said this before, and he’ll say it again. As many times as it takes for me to remember.

“Home,” I repeat. My hands are shaking.

He kisses my wrists, one after the other. When our chests meet for the second time I welcome it more openly.

There is static on my mind, that slight shift in sound when you’ve hit very close to a channel, to voices. Close, but not quite. It comes back to me, a second name, not his but mine.

_Ella?_

She is Ella. I am Ella. Caged.

I gasp.

The boy ( _mine_ shouts a thought) clutches me so tight it’s hard to breathe. “I’ll help you,” he promises. “Anything for you love. Anything. The world.”

My eyes water. The thin veil draped across my memories is breaking my heart. “You.” _You are the world_ , shouts the voice within me. “More.”

I shatter him with a single word. More, I asked him. He trembles, arms vibrating against my sides. I hear him cry out and before I know it, his mouth is traveling down from my neck, my collarbones, falling into a familiar path. His lips close around my breast, sucking on my skin.

My entire being is on _fire_.

The meld of sensations has me losing my mind, crashing common sense, and I’m not sure if his hand going down my pants are an illusion or reality. He knows my body better than I do right now, and how can that even be?

_He’s been here. He’s always been here._

The brave hand of his strokes me in such a way that leaves me breathless, eyes and mouth open as I keep staring at him. His face is pleading, begging, lustful. “You know me. I’ve been yours for as long as I remember.” His fingers send a jolt through my body and I jerk, pressing my nipple back into his mouth. He takes the opportunity to suck it again, in earnest and I go blind.

_Training rings. Linen sheets and soap._

He moans with pleasure against my body, drawing another mewl from me. His hand, it’s making me go crazy. My groin is drenched, my body electrified as I come closer to the edge.

He stops kissing my chest to look up at me. “Who am I?”

I want to know. So badly.

Our gazes meet, where he sees I don’t yet have the answer. My bottom lip trembles. His eyelids fall closed, pain etched on his face. His fingers stop, and I’m left dissatisfied, abruptly abandoned.

“Don’t,” I beg. I guide his hand back down my body with my own, desperate for him. But he doesn’t resume.

He kisses my lips, my jaw. “I’m right here.” I’m not at all prepared when he bites down, marking my throat and filling me with a cocktail of desire and pain. When I look down to see his face, I notice he’s undoing his pants. My eyes spring open.

Green irises nail me into place, forcing me to feel his movement as first his pants lower down, then as he works on my own. “Who am I?” he demands, his voice deep and close to me. He tugs down my clothes, taking every article, leaving me naked to his touch.

“I...” I begin, “You... I know you.” And the utter hopelessness I feel at this stupid cloud over my thoughts brings water to my eyes.

He says no more, perhaps afraid to. But our bodies are singing, more than ready for each other. This, I realize, is where I belong. My mind’s racing but my legs don’t hesitate to widen, to open for him and pull him close. My arms wrap around his back, my forehead touching his. My soul screams _Who are you? Give me the key._

“Please,” he utters against my lips. “Come back to me.”

He slides inside me and I feel one of his tears hit my cheek.

And it resonated with me, harder than before, what he meant.

Home. This, us together, my body welcoming his, making room to fit inside, this is what he meant. It was a fact as undeniable as sunrise.

We gasp in unison, overwhelmed with heat. I’m blazing within, heat sparking where we touch. Ella climbs her way out, close to being free.

I moan, letting him hear it. My mouth drops open, perpetually open, my eyes never breaking from his.

When he thrusts for the first time, I know then that we are synonyms. Pertinent to each other, the impossibility of naming him without me. We fit perfectly.

A frenzy overtakes us, rapid fire traveling across the place where we’re together. He moves into me with intent, hitting the right places as if to mark me. To show me just how well he knows me. His forehead digs into mine, and his eyes close briefly as he grunts, keeping the pace slow but steady.

The feeling of him gliding in and out of me is flooding my nerves with sensation, with joy and ecstasy and ear-shattering screams to remember, remember, remember. I can’t remember ever feeling this incredible.

He hits a certain spot inside me that makes me jolt again, losing my senses, but when my head moves from the dizziness he won’t let it. My face is trapped by his hands, the strength of him keeping me from moving. He won’t let me go, won’t let me look away. He wants me back.

Him. It comes back to me.

A cold room and a warm embrace. White walls, his warmer arms around me.

And

_I think my heart is going to explode._

_Ignite, my love. Ignite._

_My heart is yours. Please don't ever give it back to me._

Aaron.

Forever, Aaron. Of course.

When I start crying his eyes turn hopeful.

“Aaron,” I say it with the finality of fate, with the love that unravels from my heart at the sight of him. “ _Aaron.”_

There is rapture, there is joy, there is relief and love in his face. “ _Yes_.” He clutches my face harder, digging his forehead to mine.

He won’t meet my eyes anymore, the feeling too intense. Sobs keep coming from me, the mess of my memories swirling and tripping out.

“I remember you,” I cry into his face.

He starts fucking me harder, deeper.

My voice shakes the next time I say it. “I remember you — _Ah!_ ”

My words drive him mad, drive him to move into me more fiercely. “Yes. Aaron.” Even though his movements are hard, his voice is pleading. “I’m Aaron, love. _Your_ Aaron.”

_I want you to call me Aaron._

How could I not have known? So many times?

He and I, we meet again and again, and it was always bound to end like this.

I start to fuck him back.

Aaron meets my every shift, synchronizing our bodies flawlessly. He hits that place, the one that ignites a high-pitched sound from me, over and over. Soon I’m a shrieking mess, the slap of our skin creating a rhythmic clapping that lulls me over the edge. I break apart, laid bare, my hips curving to his as I ride it out. During that bliss, that small taste of nirvana, another memory comes barreling to me. An important memory.

Oh my God.

Aaron pauses, slowing down. He breathes hard into my cheek, smiling. The look on his face tells me he’s not done yet, confirmed a second later when he flips us over. I must wear shock on my face at being on top, by the look he gives me. 

“What else?” he asks. I know what he means. _What else am I?_

He doesn’t lay back, doesn’t expect me to take the reins and pleasure him. Instead Aaron stays close, hugging our fronts together as he sits on the table with me straddling his lap. Hearts hugging.

Close. Close like that night, at the tent home.

_Marry me._

If there were any tears left in me I would’ve shed them. I run a shaking hand through his hair. His gaze roves over me like I’m his only salvation, like I alone command sunlight and miracles. One hand runs down my spine, the other planted on the table behind him to steady him. He starts to move, to thrust into me from below. The sensation destroys me.

“My husband.” I suddenly find those tears, feel them drip down my face. “You wanted to be my husband. You asked me to be your wife.”

_Ella. You’re going to be my wife._

She comes soaring out, the girl I used to be, the Ella and Juliette hidden under this skin. I gasp and throw my head back, screaming once.

He hugs me through it, through the greatest moment of clarity I’ve ever had, and only after do I register the heat. Building up for a second time, clenching my stomach. Sparks course through me as he urges me to make love to him back. As I comply.

My hips press down onto his, following the rhythm. We kiss hard, desperately, my tears and his mixing and wetting our faces but we do not care. I sob again, from the pain of losing him and the joy of having him back. Soon I’m panting hard, pressing my cheek to his, letting him hear what he does to me. I swing my hips back and forth, back and forth, making us both groan, making me see colors in my field of vision and beg for this not to end. He feels so _good_. He’s thick, long, and hard inside me as he pumps, as he fills me completely each time. I might be losing my mind after all.

He grunts loudly, pressing me closer to him and quickening the pace. “I asked you to marry me. And what did you say?” he asks. His breath hits my collarbone.

The change in pace leaves me breathless. “I said...”

He takes the opportunity to thrust into me even harder, even quicker. His hands behind my back and at my hip move me so I can only surrender to this, to us. It’s not long before I start screaming.

“Yes!” I go. “Oh, yes. _Yes!_ ”

I yell it, shout it into his shoulder as we come together with floor-shattering perfection. He shakes harder than me, his entire spirit revealing itself as he clings to me, as he keeps calling for me.

“I love you,” he whispers into my chest as we breathe hard together, recovering. “My one and only. You came home.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked this and are capable, consider [buying me a coffee](https://ko-fi.com/goodmourning)?


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